Work was pretty typical. When I got home, we went out to eat at Which Wich. I didn’t remember it being that expensive when we went in the past. My sandwich really wasn’t all that great.
Haven’t gone to the doctor about my head, and I am not planning on going at this point. I am going to try to make some lifestyle changes first and see how that does. So, here are the changes I am making:
1. Drink an adequate amount of water. I have seriously sucked at this.
2. Exercise. Just do it, at least a few times a week.
3. Cut out the Coke. I drink over 32 oz of Coke every day. That is embarrassing to admit, but it is a serious problem right now.
4. Eat healthier foods and smaller portions.
This kind of happened at a good time, because I am starting a diet tomorrow. Some other ladies in my mom’s group started something called a Diet Bet. It is through the website dietbetter.com. It was $25 per person, and anyone who loses 4% of their body weight in 28 days splits the pot.
Let me get really honest now… I weighed myself last night and the scale hit an all-time high. 195 pounds. For reference, I weighed 194 when I gave birth to my son.
What happened? Well, I breastfed for over a year and lost all the baby weight fairly easily & quickly. I actually was down to 150, 5 pounds less than I was pre-pregnancy. I had never exercised in my life, and those 500 calories I burned breastfeeding each day really helped me. Then… I stopped breastfeeding. The weight kept piling on, as I started drinking more and more Coke to make it through teaching each day and burned nothing. So, I went from 150 pounds in August 2013, to 195 today. In 18 months, I gained 45 pounds.
I have never gained weight like this before- this has been very different for me and also just devastating. I, for the most part, don’t take care of myself at all anymore. I just feel gross anyway. I felt fat before I was ever pregnant, when I weighed 155 pounds. I felt fat when I was 140, and 130… So 195 is just ridiculous to me. I avoid seeing my stomach in the mirror because it just disgusts me so much. I don’t mean to say that people who are bigger are not beautiful. In fact, I am so shocked when people say they hate their bodies! I always think they look great! But for me, this isn’t what I want to look like and my self-esteem is shot. It affects my mood toward my husband, my attitude toward pictures, everything. I remember a past when someone could take a picture of me and I could look at it and smile! I want that back.
Okay, so I have 4 weeks to lose 4%. That is 7.8 pounds, which means I will need to weigh 187.2 at the end of February. Still big, but it is a start. My long term goal is to get back to 155. We will see….
*If you want to join the diet bet with me, comment to let me know and I will add you to the group! It starts tomorrow!