02.27

Back to school! It was so weird- it felt like a Monday, but it was Friday! The kids were actually pretty well-behaved. At a meeting at the end of the day, we were talking about write-ups and I learned that my girl has the most write-ups in the entire school. NOT SHOCKED! She should really have a parapro with her at all times, but there is no money for that. The funky part is that I stopped writing her up the second month of school- these are all write-ups from other teachers! If I wrote everything up, it would be crazy numbers.

My DietBet ends Sunday morning. Right now, I am down to 182. If I can lose .7 pounds by then, I will have met my secondary goal. If I don’t, I am not concerned. The goal was to lose 7.8 pounds and I have lost 13! February is hard- Superbowl, Valentine’s Day, and then all these extra days at home between Pres. Day and the snow/ice days?! I am proud of myself! I will post a weight loss update when the diet bet ends, and let you know about my plans to continue losing!

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02.26

After our fun snow day, we had another day off due to road conditions. It was like a weekend in the middle of the week! We hung out at home- caught up on TV shows and played around the house. Lazy days are the best!

02.22

Went to church this morning. Only 13 kids in the room I serve in, so it was an easy morning for me. The people I regularly serve with haven’t been showing up lately, so I have been in charge. It is slightly frustrating, but they may as well just make me the leader of a room next time because I have been fully immersed…

The evening church service was a challenging message for me. Basically, that it is more important to God that I am good with the other people around me than to focus on me & Him. I have been doing this ALL wrong.

It isn’t that I am hateful and horrible. But my relationship with my in-laws has been strained and my relationship with my stepmother has been nonexistent (for over 5 years). I feel the need to work on those. I do NOT feel the need to have an actual relationship with step-mom. But I do feel the need to clear the air, so to speak. We will see each other at funerals and weddings, and the last time that happened (the only the I had seen her in the 5 years) she chased me around asking to talk or hug her, and I continued telling her it wasn’t the time or place. I was correct in saying that, but now I need to make a time and place to make things OK. It is hard because I do not love her and do not care to speak to her. But if God requires me to love as He loves me…

I talk to my dad for 1-2 hours a week. We don’t talk about step-mom (his wife) unless he is just mentioning something they did together. He doesn’t ask me any questions. Like I said, I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want to talk to her on the phone weekly. But I should
be able to see her without it being awkward as hell. If I can forgive her, and apologize for my part (that will be extra hard) then maybe I can be in the same room with her without feeling like I am being eaten alive by maggots.

I texted my MIL a nice message. It was hard, as we have had a LOT of tension for years now. My heart was in my throat. But I did it. It wasn’t so bad. I feel better about things, sorta. Getting there…

02.21

We had a pretty good day yesterday! We went to the store yesterday evening and Noah got Lightning McQueen. They were out of Mater, so Josh drove to another store because “he needs a friend for McQueen.” Haha!